myself – Concerto in C Minor

20241006 Practice Diary

I’m on a 35 day streak for piano practice. Some of those practice sessions have been short – Thursday’s was 5 whole minutes. Nevertheless, it’s been good.

It’s my longest daily practice schedule since I turned my attention back to playing the piano about 18 months ago. I’m happy. I’m up to the Ruby Level on Tonic and I don’t see any blocking points between here and 3 November so fingers crossed that I make 50 days soon. After that, November and December will be challenging.

This week, no sight reading to report – I need to sort out my piano magazines and ensure I have consistent access to them. The main new sight reading I did was for the pieces I am preparing which is sort of okay but not quite what I want for sight reading practice. Most recently, Ballade No 1 which I started last week.

For the main four exam pieces there was progress on all of them, not enough in two cases, but a better than zero effort.

Rameau. I can play all of this through, not exactly error free and it’s currently at a slow enough speed that it takes a good chunk of practice time. Of the four pieces, it is the longest in terms of music to be played but it is also the piece I am closest to performance ready with. I have not memorised all of it; there is a section of page 4 left to internalise, and that section was proving very slow to read last week, can now be played at a speed that is consistent with most of ther rest of it. I’m working on speeding up the opening A section and the number of errors I am making there is dropping radically. I’m playing it a lot more consistently. I continue to have some issues with leaps and stretches through the end of page 1, good lot of page 2. But again, far better than last week. It is entirely possible that by the time I have to do this exam, I will hate this piece for the simple reason it has come on so much faster than the others

Debussy: opening section is coming along nicely. I love some of the sound textures, wish my fingers would behave more efficiently. I’m well into page two; there is one stretch that I don’t much like and it is impacting on my certainty about being able to play it smoothly for a while yet. It’s going to come in handy for similar issues in the Liszt piece which I’ll discuss below. Most of page 1 is memorised, not yet quite enough for me not to need to read it. For the future, I suspect the Henle layout is better than the Editions Peters layout.

Some of the sounds in the Debussy remind me of bells; and I suppose that’s reasonable if you are in an armchair in a country village with a church nearby in bucolic France; I’ve no idea whether he did that but it’s the impression it builds within me. Assuming no major accidents, I think this might be done before Christmas or early in the new year. I may have to find public concerts to play it and the Rameau at.

Liszt: This is slow going. I’m not sure why – I think part of it is the rhythmic structure; part of it are the moves of the lefthand around the keyboard. I’m not going to say I’m struggling with it but it is not making as much progress as I would like. It’s not consistent. It’s easier to read than the Debussy but harder to learn. It’s a three page piece and from what I can see, not as many repeats, if any, as JP Rameau has gifted me. I need to set down and seriously think about how to approach this. What I will say is that the chunk of regular playing has expanded but I am still very much confined to page 1 and will relisten and chop it up with a view to starting some other parts of the piece in parallel so that eventually, once I have the start mastered, I will have a lot of the rest of it done. I read through some of page 2 during the week; it’s more interesting but it includes a section which is highly counter intuitive for me; that is the section where the melody comes out through the left hand. This, in one way, is a key reason why I want to learn the piece. It gives me challenges and will provide me with input for the next section.

Rachmaninoff: this is really slow going and I suspect this is the piece that will delay the entire endeavour. On paper, it’s straightforward. I’m not going to say I am a fan of the triplets but for the most part, they aren’t enforcing (yet) any disturbing polyrhythms. But I consistently get them wrong. Mathematically they are fine; aurally I am fighting with them. I love Rachmaninoff so I am not in a mood for giving up on this and replacing it with either Tchaikovsky or Chopin. I could do June by Tchaik as a self selection (I don’t really like the option of January which is on the syllabus for 2025-26. So I am taking this quite slowly and assuming that at some stage, this will start to slide into place.

I did not touch Chopin 17/4 this week so no news on that.

Outside the syllabus, Chopin Ballade No 1. I have no idea what this sounds like to an outsider, and I am at the very beginning of a really long journey here but I love this so much. My initial target is to deal with the first two or so minutes but there are a few challenges to go with this on page 2. We will see.

Morning Piano

This week I have had five minutes for the piano before I left the house to go to work. It’s autumn and the morning light is changing. And I am working on Consolation No 2 by Liszt.

Normally I’m not sure about only giving this five minutes in the morning but it truly makes the morning beautiful when those notes fall into place. I love it.

Store visits – Steinway in Hamburg

Factory visits are not generally easy but Steinway and Sons have a nice flagship store near the factory and if you are interested in their pianos, it is worth a trek out. One of their technicians was voicing a Steinway D while I was there so I did not get to play much while I was there (although I did touch a Boston for pretty much the first time that I think).

How did I get out there? Number 3 Bus and number 180 buses. The 180 was not 100% reliable that day but this is hardly Steinway’s fault.

I did get to see a Noa in blue. It was a B, and it was gorgeous to look at. Someone had already reserved it. I envied these unknowns.

The most beautiful piano to look at was one of the Crown Jewels in Olive – I’m sorry I did not have an opportunity to play that but it was truly beautiful to look at.

In the recital room, there were three Concert Ds, and at least one was fitted with Spirio. I have always had some rather mixed feelings about the idea of player pianos but in a discussion with the technician and the store manager, I’m increasingly sold on it. The technician, whose name has escaped me now, pointed out that they can now stream live concerts from a concert hall to a Spirio R equipped piano and had done it for Vikingur Olafsson’s trip to the Elbphilharmonie. I could fantasize about a winter evening sitting in my living room having a concert by one of the best concert pianists in the world streamed to my piano with the sound benefits that go there. Although I’d love to see how they replicate Daniil Trifonov’s touch.

Steinway also had a pop up shop in Alsthaus, the main department store in central Hamburg. I believe it ends end of September 2024. Claudia recommended that I go and have a look at the Sunburst upright there because it had a particularly nice sound. So I did.

They were also running weekend concerts there, and the morning after that concert, I went and had a look at the Steinway B that was in the pop up shop and I did play both it and the Sunburst. There are radical differences between the grand and upright Steinways – the uprights are slightly heavier to play – but it’s interesting to do it. I might aspire to a Steinway B at some point in my life but my journey has, afterall, started with a digital Kawai CA59.

One thing I do have to reiterate is that I spoke to several Steinway staff between both the Flagship and the Pop-Up. Steinway’s staff are unfailingly polite, very open and welcoming. In particular (despite not remembering his name), I would like to underline the very interesting and broad conversation I had with Steinway’s technician (who was voicing the D when I arrived) which covered the need to be not so conservative, views on several top concert pianists, the recognition of how some pianists make you want to play more (Olafsson in particular here).

I’m always honest to say I am not buying today but I’ve found that many Steinway sales staff put the time. Unfailingly they know what they are talking about and I have never met any who do not play themselves. They understand.

Grade 6 exam update

One of the nice things about living in the future is how much better some aspects of it are compared to pass. I submitted my performance exam on Saturday and the results arrived back at 4am this morning. I know for the future that sleeping is better than waiting.

Anyway. The result was a DISTINCTION.

Most of the exams I did as a kid were the practical exams by the RIAM, and the last one I did was 35 years ago. So I had no real idea how rigid the ABRSM would be. They were reasonable I think; the feedback was sensible, it highlighted the issues I knew about (but eventually cut my losses about. The lowest score was 26 marks for Carl Philipp Emmanuel Bach’s one hit wonder. The highest was full marks for Elissa Milne’s introductory jazz piece.

I see a lot of discussion on how the performance grades are easier or dumbing down. I don’t really agree. You have the extra piece. And you have the utter trauma of the recording. It must sound seductive, this idea that you can try as many times as you like to get it right. But it means getting four pieces right every single time. I’ve played in public, and I did the practical exams up to grade 5 when I was a teenager. The experience of creating a valid, acceptable, compliant with the rules film was really tough. I live in an apartment with triple glazed windows. Nevertheless I had films wrecked courtesy of:

a helicopter
a bunch of extremely irate Belgium drivers stuck in a traffic jam
a processing of 10 police cars with their sirens blasting
a significant number of motor cyclists who appeared not to have any sort of silencers attached to their wheelmobile.
a stag party singing Sweet Caroline at the tops of their voices.

It’s really frustrating when you have got through the 4 pieces reasonably cleanly and the film is destroyed owing to circumstances outside your control.

And then there were my own mess ups, centred mainly on CPE Bach but on occasion, Elissa Milne departed my fingers in a less than elegant manner. As it was the last piece I scheduled, those occasions were both times when I had played each of the other three pieces faultlessly.

In short, this was deeply, deeply stressful in a way that no other music exam ever has been.

And I’m going back for more. I will skip Grade 7 and move straight to Grade 8 as I need it for the ARSM which is to follow that. My target date for this is end of next year and I will work to the 2025 syllabus rather than the 2023 as the repertoire list is okay for that. Before I start preparing those pieces though, there will be a short holiday from exam syllabus music.

Practice Diary 20240601

I play the piano, that’s what I do. And I am sorry for my neighbours at the moment, unless they like the same four pieces, then they are on clover.

It’s been a good week for the practice in terms of actually doing any. I now for the first time in a while have an 8 day streak again. Hopefully i will make that nine tomorrow.

Most of the work has focused on the grade 6 pieces. They vary between being tantalisingly close to being ready and completely screwed up. I don’t understand that last part. I’ve been playing 2 of them more or less correctly for the last 3 months. The other two, well one I took a four month break from but it’s generally okay these days. The problem is Solfeggio which varies between being 100% perfect and otherwise being a hot mess. Currently, I am in performance practice which is where mostly, I say my piece introducing the pieces (sometimes) and then play them all. I want to be used to playing them as a performance. But now and again I have to break off and work on a couple of sections of Solfeggio. That’s frustrating because while I feel like I’m not improving, objectively I am. But I cannot play all four pieces cleanly in a single shot.

This is somewhat annoying because I was supposed to be 2 months into Project Grade 8 by now, and a ickle bit of the way into ARSM (Brahms, you see….). There isn’t one place where things go awry all the time, there are several that occasionally cause problems. Mostly, I think, it is glitches not in my fingers, but in my brain. As I’m playing from memory, because I can remember faster than I can read (although that really isn’t a big deal for anything other than CPE Bach), it leads to some wry entertaining moments for me. I think part of this is hormonal; I have not had a period for nearly 3 months now.

Aside from that, there were dips into the Rachmaninoff but in truth I need to do some prematch analysis on all four of the Grade 8 pieces and also find a teacher for that and the diplomas. I am not sure I have the chops to push through those on my own.

I came across some discussion about pass rates for the FTCL during the week. I’m focused on ABRSM at the moment but in general their diploma repertoire lists overlap; one comparison I saw suggested that the FTCL did not require an essay of types. I’m not sure yet how I feel about that but basically since I would probably choose mostly the same rep for both, it won’t matter until I am close to considering doing the registration. It being the last of the three diplomas, it’s not going to matter for the guts of ten years, if even then.

But there was one comment which I cannot find substantiation for that typically, the FRSM had a pass rate of around 50% and the FTCL had a pass rate of around 30%. Whether I do one or the other, I intend to do Chopin Sonata no 3 (it’s currently on both lists) plus something else (check the goals list for options) and maybe, I won’t be too focused on the diploma by then but still go for the piece.

In other news, it transfers that for ARSM, the Fauré Barcarolle I mentioned in the context of Lucas Debargue’s latest album and recently acquired sheet music is on the repertoire list.

The way I work it is as follows, crazy as I am, is that once I am working Exam X pieces, I will start finalising the choice for X plus 1. For ARSM, if I get Grade 6 submitted any time soon (CPE Bach willing), I will start seriously working on the next four pieces (and not just the Rachmaninoff), and also start planning the repertoire for the ARSM. Now it seems, there are two pieces from my TBL list lined up for that. After that, I’ll probably tap Rach’s preludes and then I have some serious work to do to find some Bach or Scarlatti that appeals.

Piano transcriptions

Ben Laude’s piano channel is absolutely worth your time. He is a loss to ToneBase’s piano channel in general. Anyway, he posted this lately:

Top ten Mind-Blowing Piano Transcriptions – Ben Laude on YouTube

I really got back into buying sheet music when I came across some of the piano transcriptions done by Vyacheslav Gryaznov (and I’ve started seeing them turn up in exam lists for the more challenging grades and diplomas). I like the idea, because it fights against some of the received wisdom I had when I was a child that you had to play things properly. That being said, my list would have been different (and is probably already different from the list I made yesterday while I was listening to.

Valse-Fantaisie by Glinka/Gryaznov
Erlkonig by Schubert/Liszt
7th Symphony by Beethoven/Liszt
Dance of the Blessed Spirit by Gluck/Siloti
Prelude in B Minor by Bach/Siloti
Adagio from the 5th Symphony by Mahler/Tharaud
Scheherazade by Rimsky-Korsakov/Noacke
Star Spangled Banner – Rachmaninoff
Laudate Dominum – Mozart/Olafsson
Adagio Symphony No 2 by Rachmaninoff/Trifonov for 2 pianos.
Masquerade Waltz by Khachaturian/Nakajima

I bought Gryaznov’s transcriptions on the foot of something that isn’t listed above – the Italian Polka by Rachmaninoff. It, too, is a great transcription in its own right. I’ll probably never be able to learn it.

Ben’s list did not include anything from Alexander Siloti and I think that’s a pity. Certainly, they may lack of the fireworks of the Flight of the Bumblebee but the Prelude listed above (originally in E-minor I think) is utterly stunning, no matter who plays it.

20240421 Practice Journal

I didn’t practice at all for the last days. It’s the longest I’ve gone without sitting at the piano since sometime in December, and I’d like to say I have good reasons. But “good” is subjective.

On the plus side, I did buy a tripod for the camera, and some sort of a mic which will probably struggle with the sound of a piano. I did that 7 days ago.

For myself, I’m sorry. I’ve been tired, and I’ve been getting home late from work. And I’ve been wondering what the point is about this and a lot of other things. I’m tired of online discussions about the piano – many of them seem to be either far too superficial (Is this piece of Rach too hard for me; I can’t sightread) or too deep.

I’m tired of YouTube. It’s got fantastic stuff hidden away but what it is pushing is utter crap about self improvement. I’m wondering if it is worth the monthly subscription I spend. It probably is because instagram’s sponsored posts are running at around 2/3rds of what they push to me. It certainly isn’t what I have followed.

I’m very close to being ready to submit the Grade 6. I have no idea how that will go either because I made the bad mistake of reading piano teachers asking if it was really necessary to comply with the instructions of ABRSM around being able to see the pedal – I’m sorry but I am not a piano teacher, I don’t have one, but I really cannot see why you’d even ask this question? ABRSM went to the trouble of recording a video for you.

So I need to go back to practice and see how that goes. I had started June by Tchaikovsky (although one of his nocturnes is around distracting me at the moment – I need to check if it is in any of the music books I own. Could be.

I will get to the piano shortly – I will set up the tripod then and we might see abut a youtube video later. Anyway. Have a good week. I have a couple of other pieces to write so this practice failure on my part might not be very noticeable to my 1 or 2 readers.

Contemporary Music – why?

Last night, to get to a wonderful rendition of Bruch’s first violin concerto, I had to sit through a work called Feast During a Plague by Sofia Gubaldulina. I’ve never heard of her but with Bruch and Prokofiev on the menu, I had filed the piece under “how bad can it possibly be” and bought the ticket anyway. The other two pieces were worth the ticket price. This was not. In answer to “how bad can it possibly be”, the answer is truly, unequivocably awful.

Apparently some people – I don’t know who, whether they really exist or how high they were – have called her the world’s greatest living female composer. I have no idea why. I really have no idea why. I don’t know how the orchestra suffered through it and I believe they have to again tonight in Charleroi. For the first time in my life in a concert hall, with a high quality orchestra on the bill, I heard an audience boo a performance. This is highly rare. If they got applause, it was for suffering through this piece.

I loathed it. I’ll admit I’m not a fan of much atonal output anyway – I think it’s self indulgent trash for the most part, and this was utterly devoid of a melody. It had some structure yes, but who cares when ten minutes in you’re wondering when the torture is going to be over. When you see her name being mentioned in sentences with Shostakovich, it’s the sort of stuff that makes me vomit. Shostakovich – whether you like him or not – wrote singable melodies. The second movement of his second piano concerto is a truly beautiful thing (if not the rest of it) and in one of his Jazz Waltzes he has given us a truly amazing short work whether you hear it played by an orchestra or a piano or two (there are a fair few transcriptions around), it is wonderful to listen to.

There is a recording of this Gubaldulina work somewhere on YouTube where at least one of the ten commenters described it as “lovely”. It is anything but. It is unmelodic, harsh discordant mulch with too much running around by the percussion crew. We use the world “lovely” to describe Rachmaninoff’s 18th Variation from Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini. We use the world “lovely” to describe Puccini’s arias. We do not use the world lovely to describe self indulgent atonal compositions that should not ever have the indulgence of being performed and imposed on a paying audience who would not pay money for it if it were the only work on the bill. I cannot imagine that this is the Gewandhaus’s best selling album by any stretch.

From what I can see, the audience hated it. They were fidgety from about 10 minutes in, and shortly afterwards, they started chatting. There was a large group of bored teenagers in who loathed it. We have one of the top violinists playing Bruch like an angel afterwards but this nonsense lost a bunch of young people. Orchestras need young people. It’s why the hell we have concerts of computer game music all of which is better than this. It’s why we have concerts of Hans Zimmer’s music.

I understand the need to schedule new music. But for the love of god, if that new music is atonal please don’t schedule it with Bruch, or Prokofiev. She might have been a contemporary of him and Shostakovich but it’s no wonder they are known and she is not so much.

I love the BNO. I love the Henri Leboeuf hall in Brussels. I’ve been to some stunning concerts there. But whoever programmed that needs to explain why they programmed that with the Bruch and Prokofiev. It was an awful, awful choice, completely counter to the beauty of the other two. It didn’t complement them. People left that concert hall at the interval (as they do for Bartok symphonies).

Contemporary music doesn’t have to be like this. At the end of the day, if you want to play atonal crap, you have to accept that not a lot of people want to listen to it and without an audience, what is music anyway? Meanwhile, people like Ludovico Einaudi are selling out major arenas as did Ennio Morricone.

You might judge people for liking that simplistic crapola and not being sophisticated to recognise the true genius of Feast During a Plague. But there is a reason that when people are asked who their favourite composer is, it isn’t this that they are answering. Nothing from the atonal world comes close to matching a Bach or Mozart.

This was not music. I never again want to hear it.

20240327 Practice Diary

I missed the weekend because I was in Dublin, to see Maxim Vengarov. I know he plays the violin but still….

Anyway, the practice was daily except Sat and Sunday so I broke my streak. I’m struggling. Really struggling to get further than about 15 days in a row. But all that days I have missed in March so far were travelling days.

So where are we: quick look back at last week. Okay. The fingering accuracy problems which were a major feature of last week are not such a problem this week. I’m inclined to think they are hormonal and I probably should track them as such in my practice journal. This leaves us with a review of what I got up to since I last posted.

CPE Bach Solfeggio. This is going pretty much okay. It is still below concert speed but it’s increasingly accurate at higher speed. I love my metronome. I’m still surprised at how much better I got on with this rather than his dad’s Inventio in E major. I may go back to that at some point in the future.
Mendelssohn Gondollied 19b no 6: this is great actually. I play this and think, yu know, six months ago I couldn’t play this at all, and I wondered if this whole Grade 6 idea was batshit crazy for someone who is otherwise very decent at non-classical stuff.
Rebikov Fallen Leaves No 3 Con Affizione: I think of all the would be and were broken relationships since I was 13 and this is rightly afflicted. It’s mostly stable, I’m happy to record it
Milne Indigo Moon: After moaning a while back that I couldn’t really memorise this, the finger work is mostly sound, it sounds great when I get it right. I get it right 80% of the time and for those people who drop into my Tonic stream from time to time, it seems to be very popular.

I played other stuff this week at various times, sometimes when I am tired or lost and also because I passed through Brussels and Dublin Airports and touched pianos in both airports. This week that included the Waltz Opus 30/15 Brahms, the A major setting (by Brahms himself). Currently stuck on the opening piece as I shape my fingers to it, but I love it and I think it will be a useful building block to 118/2, the other great expression of unrequited love I think. From the Celtic repertoire, there were the following pieces:

Blind Mary (O Carolan)
Gracelands (Cunningham)
Gaelic Air (unknown, sadly)
Eamon A Chnoic
The Foggy Dew
Kimiad (based on Stivell)
Voyage en Irlande (Bensusan).

All pieces that I love. I also touched Exodus, Scarborough Fair, I dreamed a dream from Les Miserables, and I think that was about it for the late night session last night.

For my next trick I need to start booking grand piano time a bit more frequently, and then I also need a tripod for my phone so I can film the exam submission by the end of the month. I’m really pleased about this.

Talking about the journey

One of my bucket list items has been to go to Verbier, and I am thinking of trying to make it happen this year. There are two or three concerts I’d like to go to – Alexandre Kantorow’s solo recital is one because that I would like to see.

By the way:

Alexandre Kantorow and friends celebrate their teacher’s time in France

I start off with Verbier because well, another bucket list item but which felt unattainable was grade 8 piano. And somehow, this is now realistic.

I love pianos. I’ve played piano in one shape or form since I was 8 years old. The world is full of people who are much better than I will ever be at this stage. The world is full of people who started learning at the age of 64. I’m better now than they are ever going to be.

But I wouldn’t be here without some hard thinking about a year ago and it boiled down to this: the work schedule I had would not allow me to do another university degree. It simply wasn’t possible and to be frank, I didn’t see the point any more if the outcome was to be more intense and constant exhaustion. In 2022 and 2023, I was constantly stressed and exhausted. So things were going to have to change.

So I started wondering about going back to music lessons and to see what I might yet be able to manage on that at this stage of my life. I looked on line and found Canada’s RCM and its extensive list of pieces. I have to confess, I didn’t realise it was in Canada until after I had selected some pieces for Grade 6 that looked doable. As far as I could remember, I had done up to Grade 5 in Ireland.

When I figured out it was Canadian and not UK system, I went looking again for a British one as I assumed there would be exam centres here in Belgium. This is how I discovered ABRSM had these performance grades that you recorded and uploaded. Also, they allowed me to prepare 4 pieces and avoid some of the other skills that I didn’t really want to try and structure according to their syllabus. I play by ear, and I play a rhythm instrument as well. I wasn’t totally worried about that.

But I had to do Grade 5 theory or prove I had done it in Ireland before. I figured it was easier to just do the Grade 5 theory rather than search remotely for proof I had done RIAM. In any case, I don’t think I did Grade 5 with the RIAM in Dublin, but with the Leinster School of Music which isn’t on the list of accepted alternatives for ABRSM. Doing the exam was a good idea.

It was really interesting. I learned a lot. I learned that I could still remember most of the theory covered up to Grade 4. What I didn’t know was really interesting and helpful. It covers a lot of how I think about music. From my point of view, obligation or no, being aware of Grade 5 theory is a good thing and I haven’t excluded doing further theory grades. For now I’ve been working on the performance grades.

I play the piano almost every day – if I miss a day it’s usually because I am travelling. To that end, I can now play pieces by Mendelssohn (dream come true), CPE Bach (love the piece), and two other composers that I didn’t really know before I fished them out of the syllabus. It’s really great.

The benefits though have not really just been musically inclined. I think the simple decision in April last year to start working towards something that a person I used to be has pushed me back into being some of the person I used to be, someone a bit more comfortable in myself. It took a long time and I’m really only starting to see the benefits now. My self esteem was still rock bottom in January; but these days, I think about those moments when I fly through CPE Bach – and I learned that incredibly quickly. I learned it in 6 weeks to be honest and now it is in polishing mode. I can’t quite believe it to be honest.

In the journey, it helped me to move around changing other parts of my life so that I could manage stress more effectively. That I could realistically think about learning some of the lots of sheet music I own. I go to more concerts. I’m thinking about going to a master class in the local conservatory. My resting heart rate is down. I’m sleeping better and some other health indicators around stress are also better.

I still have a lot of things to fix both musically and personally. But genuinely, making room for the exam one of my colleagues thought was crazy has changed my life.